The day after the inauguration of President Donald Trump the European kingdoms wait in nervous stillness for German Chancellor Angela Merkel to assume her holier-art than-though role as “leader of the free world”. But without the assurances of Barack Obama to spur her on, Germany’s beleaguered leader struggles with the idea of Camelot rising to the west. On Obama’s leash things seemed simpler, all she had to do was talk bad about the crazy Donald Trump, or to pretend condescension. But the black knight has gone now, back to the fairytale land of Californication. A pall cloud hangs over Berlin now. Instead of instructing Donald Trump on the ways of the “Europeans”, Europe’s modern day Joan of Arc is studying the new president, learning his ways and fashions. She’s getting ready to beg an audience, or so the heralds say.
Wise soothsayers ask the question; “Why did she not study the would-be king BEFORE calling him a danger to Europe?” One can imagine the German monarch summoning her aides; “Bring me the standard bearers, the fabled Deutscher Orden!” But instead of a stalwart spokesman for the Order of Brothers of the German House of Saint Mary in Jerusalem, that sound of “Ni” resonates behind Merkel’s sage at the CDU, one Juergen Hardt. As Camelot rises from the ashes of a pagan ruler in America, the Knights of Ni are all that’s left of a once proud nation. Hardt is asked by NBC News about his queen’s best course to fend of assured Trump menace, and like the true court suck-up he replies:
“Her experience and mastery of the issues will stand her in good stead.”
Bloomberg says Mrs. Merkel is “scouring the archives for clues on how to read him”, but Trump is an open book. The pagans in American politics chime in, one by one, finding fault with the round table itself, and beating the thorn bushes for any ally. Trump is now “undermining” the EU, when any true king knows when his enemies are destroying themselves.
Some of Merkel’s red lines are already becoming clear, including any attempt by Trump to undermine the EU at a time when the 27-nation bloc is losing the U.K. and under threat from nationalist parties. In overcast and depressed Germany though, the coconuts grow louder and louder. The hollow klikety-klik-klikety-klik of pretend hooves announces a stick pony riding Thomas Bagger, head of policy planning at the German Foreign Ministry. In Monte Python style Bagger is confrontational, talking tuff to the faithful of a New Age of Arthur. This knee-knocking-knight advises his mistress to send Trump a message, that any effort of his to weaken the European Union will be considered trespass”.
One must think clearly here, of a better strategy for failing kingdoms dying under the weight of ill begotten decrees. At court in Camelot mighty Arthur quells the fears of court first, and subdues the illicit crowd with Guinevere’s beauty, style and grace. Parading his sons and daughters in full view, Donald Trump reveals a charming vision that is epic, eternal, and true. Americans, like any other tribe, envision the dream, the epiphany of tangible nobility. At least this is part of what made President John F. Kennedy and Jackie beloved.
Set against this retro-shift of America dreamscapes, the Europeans submit to the world’s senses a clown affair. A female Chairman Mao fussed over by a mediocre clod of banker minions, a puppet show compared to an Andrew Lloyd Webber Broadway production. The Germans are now clothed like beggars, represented by mundane caricatures destined for still more calamities. If appearances even mattered at all, these tribes would apply rare feathers and beads, Hugo Boss and Karl Lagerfeld finery to Left Party Sahra Wagenknecht. Sending her to an audience with President Trump would glean Germans much, if I wager. The new chieftain of the “Deplorables” of North America has had his eye full of women wearing wall-to-wall carpet and canvas bags over their heads these last months. A breath of fresh air would do all Germans some good, I know because I live here.
In my vision, my country is about to go through a massively positive change in the next few years. America, unencumbered by misguided foreign policies, still has amazing potential. I envision an America in friendship with Russia and other nations, in partnership rather than hegemonic control. This strategy of globalism was never in the best interests of Americans. At his inauguration, the new king of Camelot ordained this clearly. Camelot is a symbol, a shining light and a beacon, not destined to be a medieval conquering horde. As Trump said, showing the world the light is the way. And inner cities like Detroit and Chicago emit no light at all. The Germans and the Europeans should grasp finally how useless their lands are for America’s destiny, and for Russia’s as well. Mrs. Merkel and her Knights of Ni need to learn another tune. Trump will not be scared off by the sound of clanking coconuts, and neither will the Scythian hordes of Vladimir Putin.
Phil Butler, is a policy investigator and analyst, a political scientist and expert on Eastern Europe, exclusively for the online magazine “New Eastern Outlook”.
